Wounds
by babybel
Summary: Can old wounds really heal? KS Rated M for later content
1. Chapter 1

**Wounds**

**Chapter One**

"You busy?" He asked as he poked his head around the door.

"Not particularly, only catching up on ?" She asked as she placed the biro between her teeth and smiled at him.

"Theres been a rape and I need a SOIT officer to come with me to the rape refuge and you're the only one still in the station" He replied nonchalantly.

"Cheers Sarge, you really know how to make a girl feel special" She mocked as she neatly placed her paperwork to one side before following him to the area car.

Although it was her duty to assist on rape investigations Kerry felt slightly apprehensive and unnerved as it brought back memories she had tried to forget; neverthelesss she had to put a brave face on things, no-one knew what had happened with Gabriel and she wasn't about to change that now.

"So what happened with this _rape_ then Sarge?" Kerry quipped. After dealing with the secret for so long on her own she had come to realise that the best way for her was to forget it ever happened, unfortunately this attitude did not mix with the duties of her job.

"You could seem a little more bothered Kerry, this whole Ice Maiden routine's boring and it don't suit ya'" Smithy snapped back as he turned into the refuge car park.

Getting out of the car the pair of them slammed their car doors simultaneously. Smithy briskly made his way into the building,busily trying to avoid any confrontation or even an exchange of words with Kerry.

"We're here to see Sarah Freeman" Kerry reported to the receptionist before taking a seat next to Smithy in the waiting area.

The grey hessian covered chairs made her skin itch as it had done previously. The room was set up in exactly the same way as before, not a poster out of place. From the corner of her eye she saw the refuge counsellor who had previously helped her approach both her and Smithy, however her gaze was fixated solely on Kerry.

She took a seat next to Kerry before turning to face her.

"Hi, I take it you've changed your mind..." The counsellor began before Kerry sharply cut her off.

"Err, we're here to speak to Sarah Freeman. Im PC Kerry Young, her SOIT officer and this is Sergeant Smith" Kerry stammered as she fiddled in her inside pocket, desperately trying to locate her warrant card.

Smithy slipped his hand into her side pocket and pulled it out, Kerry eagerly took it off him before thanking him under her breath.

"Ah right, Ok. She's just being examined at the moment, the process takes a while as I'm sure you're aware, as a SOIT officer of course" The counsellor replid, desperately attempting to cover up what Smithy was beginning to realise.

As the woman slowly walked to reception she turned and gave an apologetic smile in Kerry's direction, which was reciprocated back.

"Err what was that about?" Smithy asked as he rapidly tried to fit the pieces together.

"Nothing. Just leave it Smithy. We're here to do our job, nothing else".

"I know you don't want me prying and you've told me to shut up on many occasions, but I need to ask you this question Kerry" Smithy said as he looked at her as she stared out of the windscreen.

"You never went to the Rape Refuge Centre when you accused me of raping you which means you must have been another time. Have you been raped?" He asked, full of compassion.

"No, why would you think that?" She replied, wiping a tear away from her cheek.

"Ok, well you obviously don't want to talk about it with me so talk to someone else about it. If you change your mind you know where I am, but talk to someone about it Kerry because its obviously eating away at you"

Kerry didn't reply, she didn't know how to. Since Cameron left her she had convinced herself hiding it was the best way to deal with it, now she wasn't so sure.

Walking back into the station they were greeted by DC De Costa who was eager to find out what information they had gathered from the rape victim.

"Ah, how did it go with Sarah Freeman" she asked.

"We'll we have her medical notes" Smithy said as he tapped the brown file he was carrying.

"But apart from that not much else, its still fresh in her mind I think we need to give her time to let it sink in then she might be willing to talk" Kerry continued.

"These rape victims are all the same, we try to help and most of the time they don't want to cooperate. Isn't that right Kerry" Gabriel said as he walked past winking in Kerry's direction.

"When we want your opinions PC Kent we'll ask for them" Smithy said, calling down the corridor to Gabriel.

Ramani and Smithy had turned away from Gabriels direction and began to advance to Smithy's office, Kerry however stared down the corridor watching Gabriel as he walked away care-free.

**You can only push a person so far, then you can't hurt them anymore**

* * *

**Thank You and Goodnight x**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wounds**

**Chapter Two**

It was Eight O'clock and the winter nights had fully taken hold outside. Kerry sat in the canteen turning the empty polystyrene cup clockwise in her hand while staring down at its contents. A vibration and a beep brought her out of her daze as she realised she had received a text message. As she flipped up the screen to read the text she was taken aback when she saw who the message was from.

**Hey Kezza**

**Hope you don't mind me texting you but I wanted to see how you're coping. The offer is still there if you want it**

**Take care**

**Cam x**

For so long she had hoped Cameron was the one, the person who would protect her from anything and everything but it became clear that his loyalties were not as strong. She still loved him but knew it would never work between the two of them again.

**Hi Cam**

**Hope everything is good in Oz and you're spending time with Emily. I'm coping as I always have done.**

**All the Best**

**Kerry x**

She had made a conscious decision to ignore his comment about moving to Australia with him as it bought too much hurt and frustration to the surface again. Kerry snapped the phone shut and placed it back on the table beside her, for a few moments she stared at the phone questioning her decision to stay when someone sat down opposite her. It was Smithy.

"Your shift finished half an hour ago, what are you still doing here?" Smithy said to her as he smiled.

"Not in the mood to go home just yet" She smiled before staring back down at the cup which was now tilted in her hand.

"You know you should ignore Gabriel don't you" Smithy said to Kerry, his voice full of consideration.

Kerry looked sharply up at Smithy and looked him in the eye, "What's this got to do about Gabriel?" She asked, fearing he may know something.

"His comment about rape victims earlier. Does he know you were raped, it just seemed like he knew something" Smithy asked.

"I never said I was raped" Kerry replied quickly fighting back the tears.

"You didn't have to" Smithy replied, passing her a tissue.

Kerry had been kidding herself for so long, she knew she wasn't over the rape and unafraid of Gabriel. She hated every minute of her life as it now was but to her there was no way out. No-one would believe her.

"I finish my shift in...eight seconds. Do you fancy going for a drink" Noticing the face Kerry pulled he continued "Not like that, as mates, for a chat."

"Ok" Kerry Smiled, fighting the tears once more. Smithy pulled the crushed tissue out of Kerry's hands and wiped her eyes gently.

"That's better" He said as he went to leave the canteen. "I'll be back in five".

....

The wine bar was surprisingly quiet for this time of the week which gave both Kerry and Smithy the privacy they needed. Handing Kerry the large glass of Red Wine she had asked for Smithy sat down on the brown leather sofa opposite Kerry.

"So what's happening in Kerry's life at the moment?" Smithy asked in attempt to break the ice.

"Oh you know, drinking way too much alcohol before bedtime, a bit of self loathing and an acceptance that I'm shit at my job" Kerry replied matter-of-factly.

"You're not shit at your job Kerry" Smithy replied sincerely.

"Why not, I'm shit at everything else" Kerry replied, pursing her lips in an attempt to stop herself from crying again. Smithy moved his beer bottle to the other side of the table before moving himself next to Kerry.

"No, you're not Kerry. Where's the feisty, cheeky, happy-go-lucky Kerry that I used to know?" Smithy asked as he placed a hand on her lap.

"She died a while ago" Kerry sobbed, staring into her wine glass.

"She didn't die because I know she can come back. If she just talks and understands that I'm here for her. Even if no-one else is"

Kerry looked at him square in the eye again and replied "You don't mean that, you think you do but you don't. Every one of us is selfish at the end of the day"

"I'm not Cameron or Luke" Smithy replied instantaneously. "I don't leave when the going gets tough, I stick it out"

"You wouldn't believe me Smithy, even if you wanted to" Kerry said solemnly

"Yes I do" he replied.

"You mean that don't you" Kerry said as she realised Smithy was deadly serious "Ok, but not here. I don't want to talk about it here, or at my house. Can we go back to yours?"

"Sure".


	3. Chapter 3

**Wounds **

**Chapter Three**

As Kerry entered Smithy's flat she remembered happier times here, at least they seemed happy at the time. Kerry knew deep down that it was then that the problems started. Ever since the rape she had led herself to believe that if only she had resisted, told him firmly that she was with Cameron none of this would have happened. She wouldn't have had to see Cameron let her down; she didn't care about that, as long as someone was there in her life that was all that mattered.

As Smithy made himself busy in the kitchen Kerry sat down and took in her surroundings once again. At the time events seemed hazy, but looking around his flat she remembered exactly what had happened that night. They had entered the flat like they had just done but instead of going to the kitchen to make them a drink Smithy had led Kerry into the lounge, his hands firmly placed in the curve of the back before pushing her down on the sofa. They continued to kiss, hands exploring each other's torsos before Kerry sat up and pulled away from the kiss. No words were said, Smithy knew it was wrong, Kerry knew it was wrong and for that moment they thought about stopping but the desire was too strong. Clothes were coming off as they straddled each other closely and studied each other intimately. They both knew that there was no going back as Smithy unclasped her bra for her to pull it off in one swift movement. Kerry rose slightly as she felt a hand up her skirt, understanding what he meant she unfastened the button and pulled down the zip before laying back for Smithy to pull it off. She distinctly remembered the look in Smithy's eye as he stood above her, looking at her semi-naked form before climbing on top. She saw pure lust and longing in his eye and she would be a liar if she said she didn't like it. As he lay on top of her she slid her hand between the two of them in order to unzip his jeans and pulled them down slightly for him to finish. She could feel how hard he was as she lay below him, hands cupping the side of his face as they kissed passionately. Cameron pleased her whenever they made love, but something was different this time. A sense of wanting the illicit pleased her more than he ever could and Smithy knew this all too well. He pulled down his pants and he indicated for her to do the same: this was it, no going back. Their rhythm was offbeat as excitement reached its peak and Kerry giggled at it before Smithy assumed his pace. Before long their thoughts were completely consumed by the here and now; Cameron never entered either of their thoughts, nor did their job. Kerry begged Smithy for more and he gladly delivered, thrusting himself deeper than before. Kerry arched her back with pleasure as she felt him inside her and Smithy began to kiss her passionately when he saw her display of pleasure. After a few minutes both of them were clinching on as the pleasure rose once more, Kerry knew it wouldn't be long and she placed her head next to Smithy's while placing her hand around his neck. Their breathing was out of sync and their chests were covered in beads of sweat as they climaxed simultaneously. Kerry didn't know whether it was the ecstasy of the moment or the alcohol but she remembered feeling dizzy instantly after and headed to the bathroom. She could only imagine how Smithy must have felt, watching her get up and walking out of the room seconds after making love.

He placed the mug on a coaster on the table in front of her and she smiled in gratitude as she picked it up and held it tightly between her cold hands.

"Smithy about what happened, what I accused you of, I'm really sorry. Everything was just so confusing and I couldn't...." But she was cut short.

"We've talked about it already Kerry and I said it doesn't matter, it's been dealt with and it's in the past" He replied.

"But it isn't. Not for me anyway. Every day I just think to myself, if I hadn't have let myself believe that it was possible then none of this would have happened"

"None of what?" Smithy asked.

"If I tell you, it stays in this room. I can't face everyone knowing and judging me every day of my life" Kerry said

"Of course" Smithy replied sincerely.

"Gabriel saw us kissing outside the pub that night and the next day he wouldn't leave me alone. He kept asking me about my relationship with you and I kept reminding him that I was with Cameron and that I've never even had a relationship with you. At that point I honestly believed nothing had happened, stupid I know as I remember waking up in your bed and we were both naked. But then when you kept asking me where we stood I thought we must have done something that night but I just couldn't remember anything. I couldn't remember getting back to your flat, I couldn't remember who took whose clothes off, I couldn't remember. Gabriel saw an opportunity and he made me believe I was date raped. Looking back now it seems stupid I know but at the time it was the only logical answer. I'm sorry that it happened to you but at that point I was so confused it could have been anyone. I didn't want to make an allegation but Gabriel told Cameron and hinted to Andrea and it all came out after the bomb and I was completely powerless, he was in complete control and just stood back and watched as everything went wrong. He raped me Smithy...he raped me" Kerry cried but Smithy sat back dumbfounded.

"What...What do you mean?" Smithy asked.

"Well rape generally has one meaning Dale" Kerry replied, panicking that she had just made the biggest mistake of her life.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like it. I wasn't expecting you to say that, thats all"

"Does that mean you believe me or not" Kerry questioned

"Of Course I believe you Kerry...I just wished you had come to me sooner" Smithy said comforting Kerry. Finally she had the support she needed.


End file.
